Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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