Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
