Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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