They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
