it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
