She's like a pop up book from hell.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize