He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Terrible idea I love it
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
