Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I am midnight drunk by noon
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
And then my night got REAL pukey
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