yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
