Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
