i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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