I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
