lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
