I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
