he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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