glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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