I skipped work to stalk him.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
