Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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