And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
