Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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