I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize