We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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