When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
