She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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