My entire life is one complicated drinking game
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
