and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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