Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
nutella sex= disaster
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
