dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
