She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
