21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
