weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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