I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
she woke up with a sticky ear
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
