Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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