he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
