I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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