Ambien. No doubt about it.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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