So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
