I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize