Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
