In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
