Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
