you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
