people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You need Xanax blowdarts
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
