I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
