Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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