the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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