last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
