Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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