Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
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