We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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