I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
