It's Friday. Sex?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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