He is an equal opportunity slut.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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