and i looked up. we had an audience...
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
