Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
How does one acquire holy water?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize
