I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
