Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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