i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
