I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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