whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
She's the barista slut.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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