Got a toothbrush?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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