therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
