I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Randomize
