gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
