I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
