omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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